Talking to people - The Inevitable mistake of your life.

Don't get me wrong,I love talking.I began to talk a bit late into my life

I was around 5,I think,and the first legitimate words were fumbled words from the national anthem of my country.Why was I singing the anthem? Because the kindergarten my mom was planning to get me into was screening kids by making them sing songs they like.I happened to be the only one who hadn't actually talked much before that,so imagine my parent's tears when I actually sang.
And now,I realize that talking is not my thing.Well,apart from the usual,day to day necessities,I actually suck at talking to people.I'm usually abrupt and upfront about topics,and there's an aura of uneasiness whenever I try to make a conversation last.(That also explains the fact that I'm still single,although there's another perfectly reasonable excuse for that!)
So I decided to make a little list of things that you should/should not do when you're talking to people.
As people who know me personally,you might think that I often break my own rules.
I do.
Not because "Rules are MEANT TO BE BROKEN" or anything of the sort,but I live in a parallel dimension.(Your argument is invalid.)
Now,for the list.

1.Keep eye contact while talking to people.
      Make sure that you don't dart your eyes like a drug dealer selling some yay,and don't stare and keep constant eye contact all the time - that creeps the other person out.Seriously.

2.Don't interrupt.
     When you interrupt someone while they're talking,chances are that they'll kill you  they'll be annoyed like hell.So make sure you wait for your chance to talk back,unless you're talking to a machine who keeps yapping.If that's the case,then you can break this rule.

 3.Don't use up all the conversations that you could possibly think of.

    When you start off a conversation,chances are that you'll be thinking of what to say next.You'll get some ideas,but keep those for later on like keeping your cards close to your chest.

 4.Don't look like a weirdo/hobo/lunatic-on-drugs.

   When you look like a murderer,people are likely to run away screaming for help.Being well-dressed and good-looking helps if you want to actually talk properly.

  5.Don't brag...unless you're going to use that to make fun of yourself.

     Bragging incites people to make fun of you.Unless you finish off the bragging with a joke about yourself,and/or about the bragging,which makes you look better as a person (while having low self-confidence.)


That's all I got for now.

D.


(Of course,you want the song.You couldn't possible resist the urge.
Very well,I shall feed you,you hungry ghoul.
The Best Pessimist - Walking with Happiness)